


Kintsugi

by thekatthatbarks



Series: Shikasaku Week 2020 [7]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Day Seven, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Minor Character Death, Not Sakura or Shikamaru, Romance, ShikaSaku Week 2020, offscreen, we are ruins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23446420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekatthatbarks/pseuds/thekatthatbarks
Summary: Shikamaru hated these missions.Sakura spoke low in his ear in a sultry voice, “You know, I haven’t met too many men that know their way around a woman like you do.”Shikamaru wanted to rip his ear piece out as the man replied, “Oh, I could show you things that wouldruinyou for anyone else, sweetheart.”
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Nara Shikamaru
Series: Shikasaku Week 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1679083
Comments: 13
Kudos: 237





	Kintsugi

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings: minor character death offscreen, blood

Sakura was as sharp as knives sometimes. She cut at him, littering his heart with scars that would never mend. Broken smiles and blood-stained knuckles. Her cheeks redder than the blood on her hands, the color that she repeatedly soaked herself in.

She was all edges, from her jawline to her hips with few curves in between. Her words were sharp and eyes piercing. Her voice was loud, her laughter climbing as high as smoke stacks. Her anger buried deep inside until it ate you alive. Green eyes that were too perceptive. Pink lips that could stretch into a wide smile as easily as they could a snarl.

She was beautiful. Her body more of a weapon than she’d ever know.

Shikamaru’s knees were bruised with purples and blues from kneeling to her. A worshipping peasant at an abandoned altar.

His lungs had tears in them, and he didn’t think it was the cigarettes that would eventually kill him. 

***

She was sobbing into his chest in an examination room and Shikamaru wondered if he should move her somewhere more comfortable.

He didn’t know why it was him. If it was because he’d happened to be there when they brought her in, if she would’ve grabbed anyone nearby that she knew and dragged them into the nearest room, if she would’ve held it in until she found him.

It was ridiculous and the least likely, but he selfishly hoped for the last option.

Her heart was in shreds and he didn’t know how to stitch them back together. If it would ever go back the same way, a jigsaw puzzle with torn edges and missing pieces. It wasn’t the same – _nothing was ever the same_ – but he’d been there before.

She hadn’t spoken a word. Muffled sobs filled the room and he didn’t think Sakura had ever felt so fragile before. He’d discarded his vest a long time ago, now resting innocently on the floor. He’d guided her to the bed to lay in his arms, in hopes she’d be more comfortable. Sakura didn’t even seem aware of where she was with how blindly she followed him.

Her grip on him was tight, her fingers twisted in the back of his shirt, digging through the material and into his skin. He was idly aware he was shushing her as his hand rubbed up and down her back, the other combing through her hair, taking off her headband and laying it to the side.

Sakura cried until she wore herself out and fell asleep in his arms. Her eyes puffy and her skin pink.

If anyone asked how the village reacted to the passing of the Godaime, he couldn’t say. He’d only been focused on one woman mourning her beloved teacher to pay attention to anything else.

***

Shikamaru hated these missions.

Sakura spoke low in his ear in a sultry voice, “You know, I haven’t met too many men that know their way around a woman like you do.”

Shikamaru wanted to rip his ear piece out as the man replied, “Oh, I could show you things that would _ruin_ you for anyone else, sweetheart.”

“Is that a promise?” Shikamaru could hear the smile in her voice and leaned back against the tree he was hidden in. His eyes stayed glued to the inn as his insides twisted into painful knots. He played with the idea of violence instead, of shadows choking a sweating neck, but this was what they had planned and he couldn’t stray from the mission.

Hinata shifted from one foot to the other beside him, her eyes even more intense on the building, veins rising under her skin. Shikamaru had never been more thankful he wasn’t a Hyuuga, even though it wasn’t like he needed a byakugan to imagine the way Sakura had let herself get thrown to the bed.

Her resounding giggle filled his ear. “Oh, a threat then, huh?”

Shikamaru’s jaw clenched and wished Sakura would hurry the fuck up.

“Shikamaru-kun?”

He didn’t look her way. “Yeah?”

“Are you alright?”

“Headache,” he bit out and would have to feel bad about being rude to Hinata later. He didn’t know if she bought it – _probably not_ – but Kiba certainly didn’t, if his snort from below them was anything to go by.

“Why don’t you lay down and let me take care of you?” Sakura whispered into his ear and Shikamaru fought down a shiver.

A second later and Shikamaru heard a muffled sound, then Sakura told him in a clear voice, “He’s out.”

Shikamaru sighed, the tension in his back relaxing. He pressed the ear piece. “We’re on our way.”

Sakura was cuffing the man to the bed with chakra cuffs when he walked into the room. She smiled at him even as he told her, “Sure took your time, Sakura.”

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, one of the straps of her dress slipping off her shoulder. “You read his file. I didn’t want to take any chances.”

Shikamaru hummed, knowing she was right but still not liking it. He fixed her dress without thinking, not able to stop his glare when he saw a rip on the side. She huffed, following his eyes. “Yeah, I know. Fucker tore my dress.”

Shikamaru shook his head and looked over at the unconscious man on the bed, his clothes disheveled. He probably hadn’t even realized what she was doing when Sakura pinched that nerve in his neck and made him pass out.

He felt a hand on his chest and looked back to Sakura smiling up at him knowingly. She told him quietly, “He didn’t touch me, Shikamaru.”

He nodded, trying to will himself to relax more and moved towards the man on the bed. Sakura sighed behind him but didn’t say anything else.

Despite assumptions, Shikamaru was a light sleeper and had heard her before she even unzipped his tent. He glanced at her, able to make out the pink hair as she crawled inside and then zipped the door back up. She came over to him and he subconsciously made room for her as she leaned on her elbow beside him.

“What? Did your tent rip or something?”

“No.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, and she told him, “I just finished my watch and switched out with Kiba.”

“And?” He looked at her confused, a bitter taste still in his mouth from the day.

She pillowed her head on her arm as she laid on her side beside him. That intense green searching his eyes as her fingers played with the edges of his open sleeping bag. “I wanted to see you. You seemed upset earlier.”

Shikamaru sighed and turned on his side to face her. “I hate these missions.” It was a vulnerable reply, revealing more than he thought he was comfortable with.

Sakura chuckled, though, her smile warm. “It’s an ugly side to being a shinobi.”

Shikamaru offered her a small smile. “I’m sorry.”

She shook her head, shrugging off the apology, and sighed. After a moment, she asked him, biting her lip, “Is there enough room in there for one more?”

He couldn’t resist her – _not that he’d ever want to, though he_ should – and raised the edge up with a smile, warmth filling him. “Sure.”

Sakura crawled in beside him and Shikamaru zipped up the bag behind her. She smiled sweetly up at him as she wrapped an arm around his waist and Shikamaru pulled her closer. She nuzzled her face in his neck and let out a soft sigh.

***

He wished the first time he kissed her was more romantic than it was. For the simple fact that he felt like Sakura deserved some romance in her life after everything she’d been through. But maybe after all the years, they had outgrown fantasies about princes and knights in shining armor. Shikamaru definitely didn’t qualify as either.

There had been other opportunities he’d never taken that surely would’ve made a better story. After an adrenaline filled spar, in the heat of battle, over a good meal, on a hill cloud watching.

But instead it was in a hospital room, probably one of the least romantic places he could think of.

Sakura was tired, her hair a mess and purple under her eyes. She’d been pulling a double shift and was about to get off, when Ino came in and shoved an injured Shikamaru on her, grumbling something that was surely insulting as she stalked off. Sakura had led him into a room, shrugging off his assurances he could see someone else if she wanted to go home.

He had a deep gash across his thigh, and she told him it would only take a few minutes. He sat on the edge of the hard mattress as she stood between his legs. He winced when she ripped his pants leg to get to the wound and she glanced at him with an apologetic smile.

Shikamaru smiled back at her, his eyes falling to her soft expression as she worked. The hands on his thigh were gentle, her chakra soothing as it stitched him back together. He watched as more strands fell out of her ponytail to caress the soft skin of her cheek. She rolled her neck and he couldn’t stop his eyes from tracing the fields of her skin.

She sighed when she finished and Shikamaru didn’t even glance down at his leg when she turned back to him. Her smile was so easy when she looked at him, it made something tighten in his chest. He felt overwhelmed by the sea of green that she was currently trying to drown him in, her warm voice reaching his ears. “You’re as good as new, Shikamaru. Might be a little sore but I think you’ll live.”

He couldn’t explain why he did it then. But he didn’t have any second thoughts before reaching out to hold her face and slanting his lips over hers. Sakura stilled in surprise for a second before her hands were twisted in his clothes dragging him close to her.

He’d say he wished it more romantic, but it wasn’t like he could regret any of it.

***

Shikamaru had scavenged the whole apartment and still couldn’t find them. He felt agitation start to grate at his nerves and he called out from the bedroom, “Sakura, where are my cigarettes?”

He sighed at the silent reply and walked to the living room. Sakura didn’t look up at him and kept her eyes on the book in her hand as she laid on the couch. He didn’t doubt that she’d heard him, though.

He stopped in front of her and repeated, “Sakura, where are my cigarettes?”

She turned a page. “I threw them out.”

“You _threw_ them out?”

She slammed her book shut and looked up at him annoyed. “Yes, and I found all your stashes and threw those out too.”

She got up from the couch and tossed her book to the side, then turned away from him and walked towards their kitchen. He followed after her, feeling irritation lacing through his voice. “Sakura, I _told_ – “

Her head whipped back to him as she opened the fridge and didn’t even look in it before slamming it shut. “What? You _told_ me you were trying to quit? Is that what you were about to say? Because it _really_ doesn’t seem like it.”

Shikamaru sighed and bit the inside of his cheek. “I can’t just _stop_ cold turkey, Sakura. _You_ were the one who even told me that!”

Sakura huffed and grabbed a glass from the counter. “Yeah, if you were actually _trying_ – “

“How do you know if I’m – “

“And the smell of smoke is _everywhere_. It’s in your clothes, it’s in _my_ clothes – “

“It really didn’t seem to bother you before – “

“Yeah, well, maybe – “

“Shinobi don’t die from _lung cancer_ , Sakura!”

Sakura’s eyes widened and Shikamaru felt his breath leave him as she closed her mouth, swallowing her next retort. She turned away from him, the sound of her setting the empty glass down on the counter felt like it was louder than anything he’d ever heard. His feet were like lead, but he forced them to move until they were behind her. His heart raced as he put a hand on her shoulder, terrified she might shake him off, maybe shove him and storm into their bedroom to pack up her things.

But she didn’t and instead turned in his arms, unshed tears brimming her eyes. Shikamaru felt like the worst person in the world when her fingers grasped his shirt as her head fell against his chest. Her voice was broken as she spoke, “I’m sorry, Shikamaru. I didn’t – “

He softened his voice, wrapping his hands around hers and bending down to catch her eyes. “Hey, no, no, I pushed it too far. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry, Sakura.” He couldn’t read her eyes and let go of one of her hands to hold her face. “I’m trying to quit smoking, okay? I promise. You just have to be a little more patient with me.”

Sakura shook her head, her tears rushing down her face as she closed her eyes. “It’s not even…” She leaned back into him, her hands clinging to his shirt as the damn broke. “It’s not even about the cigarettes. I just – I’m sorry.”

Shikamaru held her close and brought them to the floor. Sakura instantly crawled into his lap, her arms around his neck as she cried. He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly to him, his own chest shaking.

It took her a few minutes to calm down and then she told him, “I love you.”

Shikamaru felt a quiet laugh escape him, his chest horribly tight. He knew it probably wasn’t how she’d wanted to say it, crying in his arms on their kitchen floor after a fight about _cigarettes_ of all things. He turned his head towards her and kissed the nearest patch of skin, telling her in a thick voice, “I love you, too, Sakura.”

She squeezed him but didn’t move from her place against his neck. She admitted quietly, “It scares me.”

He could relate but asked her anyway, hoping his voice sounded comforting, “Why?”

“I don’t know how I’ll get through it if you die on me.”

He swallowed the humorless laugh that threatened to come out, not wanting her to think he was making fun of her. Nothing about this was funny. He kissed her shoulder, only able to tell her one thing because he could never lie to her. “I’m always trying not to.”

He felt her nod against him and kept his arms tight around her. “Try not to die on me either.”

She pulled back and kissed him, her lips pressing hard against his. She nodded her head when she broke away and tried to give him a smile. He smiled back at her, his thumbs wiping away the tears on her cheeks. “We’re going to be okay, Sakura.”

She laughed softly, nodding again. “Okay.” She sat back, her legs still entangled with his and cleared her throat. She grabbed his hand and laced her fingers through his. “You know there’s like programs and things to help you quit smoking. The patch or gum. Maybe we can get you some candy or…”

He chuckled and nodded, his smile affectionate. “Sure, Sakura.”

She smiled back and Shikamaru tugged her back to him with an arm around her waist. “I’m sorry I lost my temper.”

She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. “I’m sorry about the things I said. I didn’t mean any of them.”

Shikamaru kissed her hair and then leaned his head against hers. They were quiet for a moment and then he tried to lighten the mood, “I think we’ve officially broken in our apartment.”

Sakura laughed. “Maybe I should’ve thrown some plates or something. Been more dramatic like in the movies.”

“If you had started throwing things, I honestly might’ve leapt out the window.”

She hit him in the chest, and he chuckled. “What? I feel like if you were throwing plates, it would be with deadly accuracy. That’s just survival instinct.”

She laughed and when she pressed a kiss to his cheek, he felt like maybe they weren’t just words and they actually would be okay.

***

Shikamaru felt like he almost shouldn’t even be there. It wasn’t like they were paying him any mind. He’d felt like something had been off throughout dinner but hadn’t been able to put a finger on why. Only that it seemed like Sakura and his mother had been playing a game of shoji and not actually having a conversation.

Now he could see why.

Sakura set the mug of tea on the table and he watched as she subtly took a deep breath before meeting his mother’s eyes. “I’m in love with your son.”

Later he would be able to see how the entire day had been leading up to this moment, but now he just felt thrown off by the seemingly random comment. He looked at her with a raised eyebrow, wondering why she’d felt the sudden need to confess that.

But she wasn’t paying him any attention, her focus solely on his mother across from her.

He glanced at his mother, who had leaned back in her chair after setting down her own mug and crossed her arms over her chest. She raised an eyebrow at Sakura.

Shikamaru didn’t think it was possible to be so excluded from a conversation that was about him while still being an unwilling participant in it. He kept his mouth shut, feeling like it wasn’t ground he should be walking on.

Sakura continued, “I may not be from a clan. I may not be the daughter of somebody important. My father is a merchant and I’m not even on speaking terms with my parents. I don’t want children and I don’t want to be a housewife.”

A grin formed on his mother’s lips, almost a smirk. He wondered if Sakura felt encouraged by it or intimidated.

He realized where this conversation was going and wanted to step in. But whatever Sakura was looking for from his mother, she needed to get it herself. It wouldn’t mean anything if he got it for her.

Sakura knew he’d marry her even if his whole clan protested. So, whatever this was, he let her handle it herself. It wasn’t his battle to fight in.

Sakura’s jaw clenched and he watched as her eyes grew stubborn. “But I am _Haruno Sakura_. I’ve apprenticed under the Godaime and even surpassed her. People call me a war hero, the best medic in the Land of Fire, arguably in the world. I am _someone_. I have made myself someone and I have value to offer.”

He didn’t think Sakura would be able to see it, but his mother’s eyes softened as she talked. She didn’t say anything, though, and Sakura continued to pour herself across his childhood kitchen table.

“I respect this clan. I do. You’ve created so much here; the families are so welcoming and loving. The libraries are unimaginable, and the Nara Clan is _so_ intelligent. I may be incredibly skilled, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to match the knowledge the Naras have of medicine. I could stay in the Nara Forest for hours and it makes me see why Shikamaru likes to just lay around and enjoy life.” She laughed softly at the end, glancing at Shikamaru, her eyes affectionate and smile warm.

She turned back to his mother, her voice losing some hardness to it. “I love him so much. If anything, I want you to know and believe that.”

His mother chuckled as she dropped her arms. “Sakura, I accepted you a long time ago.”

Sakura’s muscles visibly relaxed and she let out a shaky breath as her eyes glossed over. Shikamaru felt his heart squeeze and put a hand on her knee. She wrapped a hand around his almost immediately, her fingers tight in his. He felt bad for not realizing this was that important to her.

“Just like you’ve told me, you are an amazing person, Sakura. But I’ll be honest with you, all I care about is if you truly love and respect my son.” His mother’s voice was gentle, and it reminded him of the warmth of being tucked into his bed at night. His chest felt tight and his eyes strayed to the empty chair across from him.

“I do.”

His mother nodded. “I know.” She paused and then told her, “If you want to join this clan, know that I will welcome you with open arms, Sakura. If anyone has any qualms about it, they will have to go through me before even reaching you. So, don’t expect any rejections whenever you announce your engagement.”

Sakura’s voice was thick as she replied, “Thank you, Yoshino-san.”

“You can drop the san.”

***

His alarm went off and Sakura groaned as he turned to silence it. She wrapped herself around him, curling her cold feet around his ankles. A sleepy voice mumbled against his neck, “You should quit.”

Shikamaru snorted and stretched beneath her with a yawn. “I think Naruto would be more than a little upset if I quit when we’ve just started.”

“I can take him on.”

He laughed and kissed her hair. He made a move to get out of the bed, but Sakura stubbornly clung to him. “Sakura, I’m going to be late.”

She peeked an eye up at him and her smile told him she was about to be trouble. She leaned up to kiss him and he couldn’t help but kiss her back. She told him against his lips, as she moved her body on top of him, “Just make up some stupid excuse like Kakashi used to do to us.”

“Sakura.”

She placed her hips over his and did a slow grind that made him throw his head back. “ _Sakura_.”

She kissed across his jaw until she reached his ear and whispered lowly, “Or you could just tell him that you needed to fuck your wife before work. I don’t really care.”

He chuckled and despite his protest, pulled her down to him.

“There was this stray cat and – “

Naruto threw the nearest thing in his reach at him – an orange – and pointed a warning finger at him. “ _Don’t_!”

***

“Man, I miss my wife.” Shikamaru sighed and looked up at the sky. Clear with purples and oranges bleeding across it as the sun set, not a cloud in sight.

Naruto chuckled and shoved him lightly in the arm. “We’re going home in a few days. I’m sure you can manage until then.”

Shikamaru rolled his eyes at him, his hands slipping into his pockets. Before he could reply, Gaara caught Naruto’s attention on the other side of him. Shikamaru let his mind wander, his eyes going over the various shops they passed by, wondering if there was anything here Sakura might like.

His feet hesitated in his step when a certain shop caught his eye. He glanced at the Kages wrapped up in their own conversation and mumbled just to say that he didn’t just disappear outright, “I’ll catch up with you.”

Shikamaru wondered over to the shop, the bell ringing out through the store as he opened the door. It had a similar chime to the one at the Yamanaka Flower Shop and he felt even more homesick. It didn’t take him long to find what he was looking for, a small corner of the shop dedicated to leather goods.

He picked up a pair of gloves, tugging on the fingers and turning them over in his hand.

_“Sakura, what’re you doing? What’s wrong?”_

_Sakura continued to scrub at her hands in the sink, her voice barely audible in their bathroom. “It won’t come off.”_

_He winced when he caught sight of how vigorously she was scrubbing and grabbed her hands to make her stop. They were shaking between his steady fingers. The faucet continued to run, ridiculously loud over the shallowness of her breathing. Her eyes remained on her hands. He asked her gently, “What won’t come off?”_

_“The blood.”_

_He turned her hands in his, her skin rough and dry. How long had she been washing her hands? “What blood? Sweetheart, I don’t see any blood.”_

_“The blood, Shikamaru. It won’t – it won’t come out.” She insisted, her voice cracking against the wall tile._

_Shikamaru slowly pulled her hands away from the sink, turning the faucet off. He held her hands and tugged her to turn her away from the sink. He bent down to meet her eyes. “Sakura, there isn’t any blood on your hands, okay? You got it out. They’re clean.”_

_She shook her head and he watched as her mind caught up with her. Tears threated in her eyes but didn’t spill over. “They’re stained.”_

_Shikamaru glanced down at her skin. He couldn’t tell. He saw the woman nearly everyday of his life. If her skin was slowly turning pink, it would take a lot more of a difference for him to notice. But if she was freaking out about it like this, she might be able to tell._

_Even if it was her imagination, he told her, “It doesn’t mean anything.”_

_She looked up at him helplessly, like she wanted him to take it all away, give her all the answers. He couldn’t._

_“The blood doesn’t mean anything, Sakura. Your hands take care of people, save them. That’s what matters.”_

“Do you see something you like?”

Shikamaru looked up at the elderly man standing near his shoulder with a kind smile. Shikamaru offered a small smile back and held up the gloves. “I was looking over your gloves. My wife needs some new ones.”

“Oh?” The man leaned back and glanced at another part of the store. “Well, if it’s for your wife –“

Shikamaru cut him off, trying not to be rude. “She’s a shinobi.”

The man nodded, that kind smile still on his face. “I understand. What kind of gloves does she need?”

“She’s close combat, something durable. A sturdy material that won’t tear easily. I’d also like her to have some that are waterproof.”

“Waterproof, huh?” The man looked over the gloves. “I do have some that dry quite quickly but I don’t know about waterproof.”

Shikamaru sighed and told him, “She’s a medic, also, so I’m sure you can imagine how much blood she gets on her hands. If she had some gloves that – I don’t know, would just stop it from seeping through…”

Another artisan might’ve been thrown off by the morbid comment, but the man did have a shop in a shinobi village. He paused as he looked over his wears. “I wouldn’t want my wife’s hands to be soaked in it either.”

Shikamaru nodded, disappointed the man didn’t seem to have anything. “Well –“

The man interrupted him and asked, “Will you still be in town in a couple days?”

Shikamaru nodded and the shopkeeper said, “How about you come by the shop Wednesday morning?”

Shikamaru looked at him surprised. “You have something then?”

The man nodded and simply repeated, “Come by Wednesday.”

Sakura’s teary smile when he gave her the handcrafted gloves more than made up for how boring diplomatic trips were.

***

She was wearing one of the dresses his mother had made her with the Nara clan symbol embroidered on the back. Her hair had grown to her shoulders again and he idly wondered when she would be inevitably cutting again – _she never had the patience for long hair_. She smiled at him when she stopped by his feet, the grass tickling at her ankles.

“Why are you here laying on a hill when you could be at home with me?” Her voice was teasing and Shikamaru already felt like he was at home.

“I didn’t want to risk waking you up. You looked exhausted when you came home this morning.” He smiled up at her and held out a hand.

She laughed lightly and let him take her by the hand to pull her down on top of him. She sighed as she settled against his chest. “Awfully considerate but I’d rather you just come home next time. I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Shikamaru kissed her hair and teased, “Maybe I also like how you can always find me.”

“It’s not like you’re hiding from me.”

Shikamaru felt like it was more than that but didn’t say, not able to put it into words. “Well, now I get to walk you home holding you hand while the sun sets. Maybe buy you some dango from that sweet stand you like so much.”

Sakura leaned up to kiss him and told him softly, “You can do that every day.”

He chuckled and told her against her lips, “I know. I just like to hear you say it.”


End file.
